This isn't poetic.

I finally did it.
I just had to call her.
Tell her that me and her will be a bad idea.
I'm thankful that she realized that too.
She's like my twin sister. She's my bestest friend.
We were not meant for each other.
I guess we love each other too much.

Now that I've figured that out.
it really feels like burning in the north pole alone.
I don't fully understand that last line I just wrote, but it surely does have potential to explain itself in the future. or not.

I'm feel like the loneliest guy in this world. Even Greggy has his special friends.

Am I ready? well, I think I am.
It's been a year since I had that rush in my blood.
That feeling that takes total control of you.
Will it be a good idea?
I want to.
I've been longing to for so long.
Yes.
I guess I am ready to take that jump
and yes.
I guess I'm also ready for a heart break.
I GUESS that's both I have to be ready for.
both are the same, they make you a better person.
the other one's just a bit more painful and time consuming than the other.
Still, it's a risk I'm willing to take.
To jump.
To fall.
And to discover that I don't have the wings to fly.
Only the experience in falling and hitting the ground.

Wait chad. Who the hell are you expecting to save you from your plummet?

chad: "Well, nobody"

then, who are you falling for?

chad: "good question. I'm also having trouble finding out who she is. All I know is that I am"

sounds dangerous...

chad: "yeah, you tell me. But still. It's worth it.

I'm hope you don't see me as trying to be poetic. I'm not.
I'm just translating my thoughts into english words.

Heart ache. That's something I look forward to.
A fruitful relationship. That's something I also look forward to.

I hope you won't see this as an act of desperation.
I can wait. I just wanted to update this blog of mine.


Sorry man. I really do hate writing stuff about this and being confusing at my writing.

This isn't poetic. Neither is it an act of desperation. It's just something I do from time to time.
I'll probably delete this when I'm in total control of myself. Funny how emotions can push you.